Born Weird

Honoring football players by naming them to elite lists isn’t new. There are “teams” out there recognizing players for their talent, toughness, reputation, statistics, performance relative to expectations (both above and below), and more. But no list (as far as I know) honors players for their monikers.

Until now, that is. It’s my pleasure unveil the inaugural “All-Name” NFL team, which recognizes players (and their parents) for the exceptional words by which they are known. To make this team, a player must possess one thing: a name that I like the sound of. No other criteria exist (though preference has been given to starters).

Unlike many other such collections of the NFL’s finest, my all-name squad includes guys in the trenches as well as the oft-recognized skill position players. Without further ado, here are your 2009 honorees (note: this year the all-name team is playing a 3-4):

Quarterback
JaMarcus Russell

Running Back
Samkon Gado
BenJarvus Green-Ellis

Wide Receiver
Jerricho Cotchery
Santonio Holmes
Chansi Stuckey

Tight End
Vishante Shiancoe

Offensive Line
D’Brickashaw Ferguson
Flozell Adams
Gosder Cherilus
Richie Incognito
Deuce Lutui

Defensive Line
Osi Umenyiora
Haloti Ngala
Adewale Ogunleye

Linebacker
Lofa Tatupu
Channing Crowder
Chike Okeafor
D’Qwell Jackson

Cornerback
Nnamdi Asomugha
Leodis McKelvin

Safety
Atari Bigby
Oshiomogho Atogwe